No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
Welcome To Gil Garcetti’s Revenge on The Los Angeles Political Establishment!
The New Three-G Network gets plugged into power on July First Inauguration Day.
Be there! Or be from now on un-plugged to City Hall Power Lines!
Starting 7/1/13, the most powerful politician in this city of four million is named Garcetti. His first name, however, is Gil … Not Eric!
And over the next four years, forever-vigilant watchdog HOLLYWOODHIGHLANDS.ORG will be incessantly nipping at all four of the Incumbent Mayors’ heels!
From the First of July onward, The Official Semi-Law Firm of GARCETTI & GARCETTI attaches its brand new shingle to The Mayor’s Office Trap Door at LA City Hall!
From now on there will be no more Dope and Sex happenings inside the LA Mayor’s third floor Downtown City Hill office under the Administration of The Two Garcettis like what’s been occurring over the past 8 years when too hot and too stoned Mayor Villaraigosa was in full-charge over there!
Take a good look at that kinda creepy photo below! Baby Eric can feel Daddy Gil’s eyes almost burning twin holes into his back. Except Kid Garcetti is quite used to that type of treatment from Daddy Dearest.
There’s nothing Freudian here. It’s just plain Filial Piety gone amok and astray!
The Double-Barreled Garcetti motivation responsible for the mtriumphant quest for installation of a 50-50 LA Mayor is not dope, sex or money! The Garcetti Double-Mayors are already fabulously wealthy…and not in the least greedy or horny!
The Garcettis have more money, in fact, than they currently know what to do with. That’s why they created the Roth Foundation to give away a large part of their fortune.
Remove avarice and sex obsession as possible Garcetti family motivators right now! The Garcetti political impetus springs solely from the quest for more and more power alongside an endlessly-inflatable personal ego that was transmitted genetically from father to son!
LA residents actually got a real bargain on Election Day! Voters unwittingly elected the Garcetti Family Team to office! Remember a while back when Papa Gil Garcetti got his ass whipped at the polls by Steve Cooley for D.A.? Well … Grandpa Gil just became LA’s Number One Comeback Kid!
Poor Señor Garcetti senior was universally regarded as political roadkill after his ignominious re-election defeat of 2000! Gil and Steve actually set a record by debating one another 15 times that year! But the OJ Curse worked its magic and the voters of Los Angeles County gave Mr. G Garcetti his DA’s walking papers, stuffed unceremoniously up his tight butt!
Who would have imagined at the time that the DA’s hyper-artistically sensitive then-29 year old college professor son would years later lead Papa Gil hand-in-hand up the long hard path toward Political Redemption; while simultaneously a no-longer smirking, shamelessly-obese O.J. Simpson rots in a Nevada prison!
Go Figure! Only in LA!
Whoopee! So … we’re getting two Mayors for the price of one! Co-Mayors Gil and Eric! The only question that remains: Is Gil Eric’s shadow? Or is it the other way around?
The same Bonus Mayor Deal would have taken place a while ago in LA when Jimmy Hahn got elected Mayor; but County Supervisor Kenny “Daddy” Hahn was already dead by then!
For every LA City Father who sorta likes Eric personally, there are 10 members of The City Fathers Club who despise the very thought of his old man Gil’s under-the- radar return to impressive LA Power!
That’s the main reason why the City’s Brokers of Power settled upon Wendy G over Ricky G!
She as Mayor would have appreciated and embraced her subservient place in the future scheme of All Things “Political” in the City of LA! Eric remains to goddam independent to suit the tastes of the LA City Fathers!
Let’s not forget that Eric was The Brethren’s second choice for Mayor; only fear of his old man Gil comeback to power disqualified the Little Prince from receiving their full-fledged endorsement!
But Gil & Company aka Eric & Company out-smarted the City Fathers on the Campaign Trail and easily took home all the Municipal Marbles in May! Leaving Bitter Wendy and frustrated backer Eli out in the just-as-bitter office-holder cold!
For Kid Garcetti, getting rid of Poppa Garcetti once they were elected joint-LA Mayor would be as unthinkable as cutting off his own right arm without anesthesia!
Don’t you get it??? They’re a team… like Doctor Victor Frankenstein and his ever-popular semi-human creation!
The reason Eli Broad and Fair-Weather Friends chose to extend their group-blessing on Wendy’s pretty head rather than Eric’s pretty head is that Wendy’s electoral prospectus did not obviously include a father of hers sitting adamantly in the middle of the Mayoral mess, doing his super-best to dominate everyone and control everything in sight! Like Eric’s Dad!
The City Fathers didn’t regard “retired” Gil Garcetti as the fly in the ointment if they backed Eric. The City Fathers regarded “retired” Gil Garcetti as the tarantula in the ointment if they backed Eric!
Here’s the new division of labor between our newly-emerging “Co- Mayors”: Eric gets to play the heroic role that he most relishes : That of The Ageless , Politically-Correct Peter Pan -type Ever- Inventive Los Angeles Mayor who fully-embraces both the Yuppie and Millennial Generations.
Tricky Ricky is fully-guaranteed a four year span locating himself exactly where he is always truly happiest: In front of his beloved news and entertainment cameras, microphones and note pads, where both photo lenses and naive reporters love him back just as hard as Eric forever loves himself!
The Little Prince had already auditioned for the real-life part by playing that fictitious character of LA Mayor aboard the hit TV series “The Closer”, receiving very good reviews in the bargain!
Henceforth Garcetti The Elder will sit in Brentwood with a lap-top on his quasi-ancient knees, doing the tough nuts and bolts intellectual labor attached to this mayoral office of great LA power, with a staff of up to 200 or more at his command to assist him … while Garcetti The Younger ever so cooly and joyously takes all the mass media deep bows that he is less than entitled to at City Hall!
“Gileric” will put both their heads together before making the big, tough Executive decisions as (Mayor x 2) and then wind up deciding mostly the Gil-Half’s way!
How exactly did Mayor “In-It-For-Himself” win this coveted role? Simple! One of the producers of The Closer early on took a shine to him, created the character of Mayor Ramon Quintero exclusively for Tricky Ricky and cast him in the part without even so much as a cold reading try-out for anyone else! So … who was that angel who virtually elected Eric The Mayor of that Mythical LA as seen on The Closer?
The answer is none other than Mr.Gil Garcetti himself who was a major behind-the-scenes part of The Closer production team long before Eric was brought in. Go fact check that piece of info if you’re doubtful and you have a lot of spare time on your hands!
From now on, Papa Gil has the final say on all major decisions made at LA City Hall … a job which both (Father & Son) regard as no more than an obligatory way station on the Road to The White House!
Take another look at the photo below snapped on stage at the Hollywood Palladium’s Garcetti Victory Celebration. Check out Gil’s shadowy eye-sockets! That overly long, odd, out-of-place scarf of his looks like something a hip Catholic priest might wear to celebrate a Devil’s Black Mass!
Anyone who does battle with their likes knows full well that just like Lawrence of Arabia, The Garcettis take no prisoners!