No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
WELCOME TO DAY ONE AS RESIDENT OF NEW GARCETTIVILL
“The Shadow” cast a bright sun-lit gloom over the otherwise joyous, sultry outdoor breeze-less early evening LA Mayoral Inauguration Ceremony. Hundreds of hand fans actualizing artificial breezes on the faces of the sweltering attendees that created an odd kind of LA distraction for the equally sweltering speakers facing them!
In other words, the whole damn show was in constant danger of becoming too boring or too predictable!
The New 3-G Network had proudly arrived preparing to take firm control of City Hall at the impending stroke of Midnight!
At Grand Park Sunday where Antonio’s Previous Going Away Party crowd easily outdrew today’s Garcetti Bar Mitzvah (plus 30 years) municipal shindig, all eyes in the makeshift City Hall grandstands, full of power players from previous Mayoral regimes looking for a new power pass extension, were instantly glued on Garcetti once the Great Brown and White Hope set foot on the powder blue City Hall Grand Steps Carpet.
If Garcetti decided to stop and engage in a bit of small talk with you that meant you’re a cinch to be aboard for the next 8-year Garcetti power ride.
On the other hand, if Garcetti gave you his half-smile/ half-smirk, then snub-glided past you without uttering a syllable … Hey, sucker, that means your ass is grass around LA City Politics until maybe 2021, if you’re lucky.
Even Villaraigosa was visibly intimidated by the imperially slim Garcetti’s swollen presence!
Garcetti has never exuded more power … from his oversized skull down to his delicate finger-tips.
Hold on! Wait a minute! Maybe you got the wrong impression! We’re talking here about Gil Garcetti; not his shrimpy son Little Prince Eric … who simply plays the role of Los Angeles Mayor… the same way Tricky Ricky did on that TV series “The Closer” for which Papa Gill served as casting Producer! Except on “The Closer”, they called Eric Mayor “Ramon”! Remember?
The LA TIMES obediently expunged all mention of Gil Garcetti’s phantom spirit circulating at the celebration from today’s Front Page Inauguration Story. Our matching set of Garcetti Mayors are like a fancy set of razor blades: two-edged but still kind of dull!
Say thank you, Mr. Publisher Hartenstein! The brand new Mayor is two-faced just like the Los Angeles Times!
Ex-DA Gil is now referred to around The City Father of all City Fathers Eli Broad’s Household as “The Honest-To-God Real City Controller”! Never mind, Galperin!
Is Gil Eric’s shadow? Or is Eric Gil’s Shadow? You be the judge!
PSSST! If you’re looking to keep your Big Cheese Manager’s job or your hoity-toity Commissioner’s position or perhaps wrestle a fat City contract out of City Hall in the near future, you’d be a damn fool to kiss the Little Prince’s ass; Gil Garcetti is the main man to suck up to! Tricky Ricky fits the role like a torn surgeon’s glove … unfortunately, Eric is more of a filial echo than a hard choice as Co-Mayor!
If you’re wondering what the New 3-G Network stands for?
The answer is GIL GARCETTI & GARCETTI!
To quote another pig from LA: “That’s all, Folks!”
(Below is the June 13, 2013 BLOG … in case you missed it)
ERIC GARCETTI IS THE CO-MAYOR OF LOS ANGELES … AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT!
YOU HAVE IT ALL BLOGGIN’ WRONG, LA WEEKLY!
Dear Mr. Romero,
White Hispanics such as yourself spend very little time attending community meetings at South LA hot spots such as the Famed Holman Methodist Church. Do you find “The Hood” too dangerous to walk the streets after dark, Mr. LA Weekly Blogger?
That’s why it’s really doubtful that you were there as part of the crowd at the Church auditorium last week when Garcetti faced the African-American Community for the first time post-election.
I have been told by those who were on the scene: “Garcetti acted like he was still running for Mayor!”
Of course, Eric is still running! He’s been typecast as a candidate and his producer has yet to hand over to Garcetti The Younger his new script …the one where Eric gets to star as “The Mayor of LA …just like “The Closer” TV series!
Hot Flash: Eric’s Producer since birth has been Gil Garcetti!
The Little Prince is not, however, at all drawn to doing the hard, dirty work of preparing for the upcoming Garcetti Administration, which is absolutely necessary to accomplish…with the looming deadline for completion by July First a couple of weeks or so from now!
Instead Eric childishly wants to do endless victory laps at pointless community meeting places like Westside block parties and “Ask Me Almost Anything-type” websites!
Never fear! Eric can afford to act irresponsibly like that because of the Behind-the-Scenes hard labor that is now being performed on his behalf by the incoming Co-Mayor of Los Angeles, Eric’s old man, Ex-DA Gil Garcetti!
The division of labor is simple: Eric plays the in-front-of-the-endlessly-tracking camera role of Mayor which he relishes! While Gil pulls the strings and beams like the Super-proud papa that he is!
MEET LA’s FIRST “MIPO” (MAYOR-IN-PUBLIC-ONLY)!
Meanwhile, “Pops” Gil works around the clock behind closed doors making all the tough key decisions that must be made in order for the new Mayor to hit the ground running next month … while Eric is still checking his hair in the mirror!
Take another good look at the long-ago candid Garcetti Father & Son snapshot featured here above. It belongs on the front page of the Los Angeles Times on Mayoral Inauguration Day!
Nothing at all has changed in the basic filial connection obvious between the two in this practically nude photo!
SSSHHHHH! The media mustn’t breathe a word about this amazing co-mayor arrangement!
Pretty Boy Eric is so gorgeous when he bats his sexy long eyelashes flirtatiously and asks a reporter (male or female) pretty please to do a special favor for him!
No full member of the Fourth Estate (Gay or curious) can resist Eric’s seductive plea not to print unflattering truths attached to the Family Garcetti!
Every major power broker in Los Angeles knows full well that if you are seriously seeking a good job in the new Garcetti Administration for one of your own people, you don’t waste your time phoning Eric ; instead, you make that money call to the Real Boss … Gil Garcetti!
You can take that piece of good advice to the bank!
JWALSHCONFIDENTIAL.WORDPRESS.COM has two words of encouragement for LA Weekly’s D.J. Romero: “GO GIRL!”