No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
JWALSHCONFIDENTIAL sez: “Big Boys Don’t Cry, Leroy!!!! How super-sad! Especially the distressing part of your so-long-it’s-been-good-to-know-ya speech to the anxious, assembled troops where you got so super-choked-up with self-pity and almost started whimpering!
“Your misty-eyed (hardly Emmy-worthy) performance of your resignation speech before a live audience on Tuesday early morning, while gripping with both white-knuckled hands the wooden lectern that matched your wooden performance, turned out to be so sexy that the CBS Evening News with Scott Pelley no less decided to include some crooked-heartfelt excerpts of what turned out to be nothing more or less than a disguised, weepy plea of yours for DOJ judicial mercy…combined with a permanent stay of execution from the inevitable future criminal indictment aimed straight at your law officer ass and that trademark shit-eating frown of yours!
“Don’t do the crime, Lee, if you don’t wanna do the time! You oughta know that much already!
“How do you plan to spend your Wednesday now? Mailing back one by one those tens of thousands of dollars in campaign contribution checks from your ardent scum-suck supporters that aren’t worth a crap and a half once you bugged out of this bruising Sheriff’s race?
“It’s extremely doubtful that US Attorney Andre Birotte Jr. was impressed enough by the flea-bitten dog and pony show that you staged Tuesday AM to cancel the second wave of on-the-horizon Federal indictments that promises to finally trap your sanctimonious butt, Mr. Ex-Sheriff along your past partner in crime, Paul Tanaka!
“Who spilled the beans on Baca? Hey, Lee, hasn’t one of your most trusted advisors turned canary, singing his heart out to avoid prosecution himself? It’s always the one you least expect! Isn’t that so, Citizen Baca?
“Hire a good criminal lawyer right now, Baca! How about those high-priced shysters that got OJ off the hook for murdering his wife and snuffing out the delivery boy? Some of them are available to defend you right this moment!
“Didn’t you receive that horrible, unexpected tip-off call Monday right after you were interviewed by CBS-TV’s Dave Bryan where you couldn’t stop telling him how gung-ho enthusiastic you were about running for re-election!
“That was the tip-off phone message that made you wish you were actually wearing Depends Adult Diapers when you picked up the receiver and listened meekly … causing you to make a 180 degree role reversal on running for office because that high-powered familiar voice on the other end of the line meant serious business when “Mr. Big” gave you no choice whatsoever but to bug out of the race immediately!
“So presto-chango, you turned on a dime and spent all that Monday evening hastily visiting each of the five County Supervisors face to face in order to inform each one that you were an abruptly-changed man who was promptly throwing in the towel on his re-election bid the very next morning in a mad dash to escape a Federal Department of Justice indictment!
Why no time to spare, huh?
“If you’re smart, Mr. Newly Ex-Sheriff, your next port of call should be Rio De Janeiro because Brazil has no extradition treaty with the US… so you won’t get deported to face trial here in the god ole USA!
Incidentally, Lee, endorsing two of your most loyal deputy advisors to replace you during that cringe-worthy Tuesday speech of yours was nothing less than a kiss of death for both of their potential candidacies!
JWALSH CONFIDENTIAL vehemently endorses Long Beach Police Chief Jim McDonnell for LASD Sheriff because Chief McDonnell is the only one of your would-be successors with clean hands!