No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
MINOR AMENDMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE TO THE LOS ANGELES TIMES ENTIRE TEXT BELOW TO BETTER REFLECT THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE DAMN TRUTH!
Los Angeles is a city in decline, strangled by traffic, weighed down by TB inducing Skid Row hardcore poverty and suffering from “a schizophrenic crisis of leadership and direction,” according to a tell-it-like-it-is report scarcely- released Wednesday with no fanfare by the plucky 13-member citizen panel known as the Kantor Commission!
The Los Angeles 2020 Hindsight Commission, convened with great fanfare by City Council President Mr. Herb (Non-entity) Wesson to examine under a smudged microscope lens the city’s ever-worsening economic woes has today offered a tartly flavored harsh assessment of civic indecision-making aimed squarely at Garcetti’ posterior and the 15 other buttholes squatting on the LA City Councilwarning that Los Angeles is heading toward a horribly screwed up future where local government can no longer afford to provide even damn-it-to-hell basic public services.
The terribly- august panel, chaired by long ago U.S. Commerce Secretary Mickey (Semi-retired) Kantor, says Los Angeles lacks anything faintly resembling a coherent approach to economic development and trails all other major cities in job growth.
City government spending is expanding like pancreatic cancer faster than the nearly dried up revenue stream and the quasi-deserving pension benefits of bloated city employees are at mortal risk, said the report, titled “A Time For Truth…Ha! Ha!”
“The city where the universally expected future can be summed up to mean the dystopia movie “Bladerunner” has been living off dwindling borrowed time and piling up monstrous municipal bond debt for ages while leaving the heavy “don’tstop thinking about tomorrow” for only Bill and Hillary to sing off-key about and hoping against rational hope that things will maybe magically sorta sort themselves out,” the report says with a straight-face!
Herman Wesson, who appeared sheepishly with a few brave commission members at the 9 a.m.Wednesday press conference to rapidly hash over the damned report…then disappear into the woodwork asked Mr. Mickey K. (who long ago became absurdly rich taking his lawyer’s cut of the financial action while selling LA municipal bonds under semi-crooked Mayor Tom Bradley) to convene his panel of personal associates by choosing its insider-members only nearly a year ago.
“He and others felt there was a microscopic bit of value in having a glimpse of the city’s burgeoning problems by very disappointed City Fathers” said Little Herbie Wesson’s pointless press flack.
The panel gang of 13 plans a little later this year (with Austin Beutner pulling all the marionette strings) to offer some half-assed hastily thrown together weak-kneed recommendations for presto chango-solving these obviously insoluble problems that the Kantor’s Commission toadies will automatically and unanimously identify as “the final solution”with their worthless stamp of approval!
Chump Mayor Eric(One Term) Garcetti, who took office part way through the group’s hazy deliberation process offered a predictably silly statement in painfully oblivious reaction to this personally-harsh-on-poor-Little-Ricky report that studiously avoids directly addressing the Kantor Commission’s right-on negative assertions that slam “Tricky Ricky G” for allowing the city of Los Angeles to slip out of cruise control and into decline during the six lousy, brief months that rejected for re-election DA Gil Garcetti’s boy has been quite noticeably to everybody struggling in power!
“We welcome the Kantor Commission’s naive ideas while I, as your exalted Mayormuch prefer to focus on my real world efforts to “grow” our economy like a medical marijuana factory and totally reform the City Hall sickening mess that my fellow Mexican-American Mayor by half Antonio Villaraigosa left me saddled with…. so thank you already!” ” said Little Ricky Garcetti curtly whispering from behind thick, closed City Hall office doors aimed at the cotton-filled ears of the main stream press!
Since it first convened with no public input whatsoever, the Kantor Panel has solemnly promised to review ways to create jobs, expand Los Angeles’ contracting economy and make a stab at restoring the city’s sputtering financial stability.
The latest news from Mickey is:” Sorry LA! No real luck reported on any of these fronts!
But the Kantor Group grope report went even further, butting in and standing on a soapbox to stake out unsolicited positions on stuff like traffic congestion, poverty,the state of public schools and most everything else that matters at Getty Mansion except for Mrs. Garcetti’s silly personal fashion choices!
The report sanctimoniously warns that the Los Angeles Unified School District is “failing our children and betraying the hopes of their hardworking parents.” As a child, Eric never spent as much as an hour as an LAUSD student. He was a coddled. rich brat private school student all the way and proud of it!
Kantor- Schmantor says Measure R, the 2008 tax hike that narrowly passed to pay for an upcoming lightly-to-be-used brand new rail line so that the largely White-skinned well-off Subway to the Sea-type Westsiders can have their minority maids and other assorted servants ride it to and from work by crossing over La Brea Avenue by train!
Of course, leaving major traffic gridlock essentially unchanged; if not gradually worsened by the huge bonded-indebtedness needed to construct rail lines that must be paid off by slashing bus service. Ride on/Right on!
And the Report finishes off by pompously announcing the obvious that the city’s push to have 10,000 police officers was BS from the git-go… a meaningless benchmark reached by former Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa only by way of mucho creative statistics from then Antonio’s and now Eric’s main stooge: Police Chief Charlie Beck who keeps a voluminous confidential file on the strictly personal lives of each of them!
A key contributor to the NATO report (that means “No Action Talk Only”) was His Nibbs Mr.Austin (“Kiss my precious butt, everybody!”) Beutner, the behind the scenes actual leader of the so-called Kantor Commission , who trivia experts may vaguely remember coming and soon going after little more time than the time it takes to down a cup of LA City Hall bottom basement coffee as Villaraigosa’s vaunted but doomed “menial jobs czar”!
This pissant report also warns that the city is “dramatically underinvesting” in the harbor and recommends major investment! Where? A smart choice would be the new Panama Canal?