No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
CAUTION: PORTIONS OF THE TIMES STORY BELOW HAVE BEEN ALTERED FOR ACCURACY:
Jeez! Baca’s sorry ass might stay with Sheriff’s Department after all … even after his resigning in disgrace speech. Dammit
Big Boy Baca’s kiss-ass spokesman said the sheriff, who announced earlier this week that he was stepping the hell down, has changed his fickle mind once again and now plans on morphing into a dweeb reserve deputy for the universally discredited agency — volunteering to patrol the county in a sheriff’s black-and-white but only in nearly-crime free mostly white-skinned neighborhoods to protect his 72-year old butt from harm!
At his ridiculous news conference where he deceptively announced his “permanent” retirement, Baca BS’ed reporters by saying that he was especially full of false pride during his nearly five unbearable decades with the department for the period when he was just a lowly deputy sheriff,; not the big cheese Deputy Sheriff he wound up as that led to his pathetic downfall!
If Baca does end up becoming a reserve cop, his spokesman said, Leroy would naturally expect to serve in low crime areas, allowing him to patrol alone or with a really pretty partner–male or female; and pig out on lots of free doughnuts supplied by easily intimidated fast food counter guys while cracking down real hard on innocent African Americans for so much as looking crooked at any White Sheriff’s Deputy!
Leroy Baca, facing an ever multiplying string of super-nasty scandals in his own agency for which he is ultimately responsible, quite tearfully announced Tuesday his plans to quickly retire as sheriff in a hush-hush deal with the Feds to escape a personal criminal indictment because Baca says that stepping down and bugging out would teach the rank and file officers that used to serve under him the object lesson that LA Deputies are always above the law!
Most recently, the sheriff came under direct fire after 18 of his pet deputies were charged by federal authorities, and after a superficial Times investigation that obviously pulled its punches, found his disgraced agency hired dozens and dozens and dozens of shifty applicants with histories of serious misconduct, including some who were just good friends or gay lovers or even blood relatives of currently Federally-indicted or soon to be Federally-indicted sheriff’s officials.