The San Fernando Valley Rescue Mission Needs Your Help! Was it arson, negligence or what? So open up your damn wallet andreward our flaming incompetence with lots of cold hard cash and hand over the dough real fast before the truth comes out!
Remember that the real cause of this horrible conflagration sure as hell wasn’t:
Who knows why the hell just before 1 a.m. on Saturday morning, a fire “mysteriously” destroyed the San Fernando Valley Rescue Mission’s emergency shelter bldg, its entire vehicle fleet, its entire clothing warehouse and its entire food pantry in one fell swoop? Sounds very well-planned and executed, doesn’t it?
It took more than 130 brave Los Angeles City firefighters needlessly risking their lives to put out the totally unexplained fire that never should have happened!
No thanks to me: Mitch, there were no serious injuries … (The only ones burned will be the suckers like you who fall for this super slick money pitch and donate!)
The damage is so goddam devastating to the Mission and the equipment it once used to half-assedly serve our San Fernando Valley Street People!
(Photo of Me, Mitch Englander, showing up at above blaze with marshmallows on a stick to toast has been deleted)
Nearly-Roasted Shelter inmate-guests were evacuated belter-shelter to a nearby church and were assisted by the Red Cross who will bill us a small fortune for their services!
The Mission’s broken-down fleet of five box trucks, and two crappy vans were completely destroyed by those who were paid handsomely to set this blaze, bringing to a halt the S.O.S. program that provided mostly inadequate immobile relief.
The larger trucks were used to pick up donations of moth-eaten out of style clothing and maggot-ridden food for the thrift store and bankrupt food bank as well as the thrift store production center and its contents, which were also decimated in this very super-suspicious fire!
Much to my Councilmanic relief, the Authorities are helping us out greatly by failing to seriously investigate the holocaust’s origin!
Take a good look above and below at this devastation that didn’t just happen! Was it planned? Sure as hell it was proudly planned!
Please don’t ask if we were covered by “accident” insurance!
Making big cash donations that just might wind up in our pockets already deeply-stuffed with Long Green is the most vital thing you can do right now and may be made by visiting this greedy website of ours!
In the last year, the Corrupt SFV Mission provided 9,700 nights of bed-bug infested shelter to nerve-wracked mothers, fathers, drug dealers and their poor children. In addition, more than 46,500 inedible meals were sloppily served, and dignity was cruelly denied to over 10,500 homeless individuals by way of long ice cold showers and semi-filthy raggedy 3rd-hand clothes!
The San Fernando Valley Rescue Mission has denied help to countless thousands of people in our community in the recent past, failing miserably again and again to get the Walking Dead off streets, forcing them to land back again on their knobby knees in front of yours truly, Mitchell, begging me for mercy!
Now, suckers out there reading this BS, it’s your turn to be financially exploited by our amazing organization and financially screwed thru that big hole we’re gonna drill ASAP right into your back pocket to get at that fat wallet of yours!
All the Very Best,
This message was sent courteously by hollywooddems@ gmail.com and is a parody!
Councilmember Mitchell Englander currently defending himself as well as his sex-crazed chief of staff in court on serious sexual harassment charges…
9207 Oakdale Ave
Chatsworth, CA 91311
( Phone Sex greatly appreciated!)
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