No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
PORN LOVERS COUNTYWIDE FLOCK TO COUNTY ASSESSOR CANDIDACY OF WONG AFTER SEX-MAD JOHN BRAZENLY PURCHASES A FULL PAGE CAMPAIGN AD IN THEIR FAVORITE “SICKO” WEEKLY NEWSPAPER … FOUND RIGHT NEXT TO THE INFAMOUS BONDAGE AND DISCIPLINE PHOTO SECTION! TAKE A PEEK!
POLITICIAN WONG EXPECTS REALLY STIFF OPPOSITION FROM HIS CURRENTLY LIMP RIVALS! PLANS ARE AFOOT TO “ERECT” NEW WONG CAMPAIGN HQ RIGHT NEXT TO BUSY COME-AND-GO HOLLYWOOD BLVD. MASSAGE PARLOR FOR MUCH NEEDED ADDED EXPOSURE!
Is this the most popular edition of a beat-off rag like this one in history! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Copies have all but disappeared from LA’s free news racks because everybody now has a politically-correct motive for snapping up a sexy but politically-incorrect copy! Shame! Shame! Shame!
JOHN IS TRYING TWICE AS HARD TO WIN THE ASSESSOR RACE! NEVERTHELESS: TWO WONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT!
WARNING: FREQUENT USE OF LA XPRESS AS AN AID TO SELF-ABUSE MAY CAUSE BLINDNESS AMONG MALES!
Gay Sex newspapers screech “unfair” and demand that Candidate John-John Wong buy super-hot ad from them, too!
MILITANT FEMINISTS WHO HAVE CONTRIBUTED BIG BUCKS TO JOHN WONG’S INCREASINGLY DESPERATE CAMPAIGN FOR LA COUNTY ASSESSOR, HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW ABOUT YOUR DOUGH WINDING UP IN THE THICK, SWOLLEN WALLET OF A HYPER-SEXIST PUBLISHER!
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