No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
On Nov 6, 2014, at 1:37 PM, hollywooddems <email@example.com> wrote:
From: “U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer” <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: November 6, 2014 at 12:17:45 PM PST
Subject: Responding to Your Urgent Message
Dear Mr. WALSH:
Thank you for earnestly writing to me to express your deep concern about whether or not I have already or haven’t already made the momentous decision to retire or not to retire from the U.S. Senate come 2016 or maybe 2022 or even 2028!
The crippling loss of our Senate majority suffered by We The Democrats weighs heavily upon my mind! We simply could not overturn the massive voter unpopularity personally attached to President Barack Hussein Obama…even among loyal Democrats such as yourself!
I appear doomed to irrelevance for the next two years on Capitol Hill! Poor me! What will I do with the precious time that I still have left here on earth!
I am not getting any damn younger, you know! Why should I spend all of the year 2016 running at my advanced age for another re-election in the overly-pear-shaped shadow of Big Shot Presidential candidate Ms. Hillary Clinton and Hubby Bill on that self-aggrandizing but still shaky Democratic ticket of theirs?
Please don’t breathe a word, John, concerning my definite decision to retire for good at the end of my current term of office!
PS: We would sure appreciate another super-generous “campaign” donation from you. Check below for where to send that check I am expecting? OK?
United States Senator
Please do not respond to this message. If you would like to comment on legislation, please visit my website and use the correspondence form at https://www.boxer.senate.gov/en/contact/policycomments.cfm. (parody)