No One Can Really Tell The Truth Like John Walsh
From: Baby Chelsea Clinton <firstname.lastname@example.org
Will you sign my rapidly-aging mom Hillary’s 68th birthday card, John, and chip in at least a c-note now that Uncle Joe Biden has chickened out of running ;thus making her election a sure thing!
WARNING! A-Hole corporate fat-cats who don’t make big moneybags contributions right away, my mom Hillary just told me to tell you that you won’t get any damn special corporate favors out of her once Mom and Dad inevitably return to take over the White House and switch seats in The Oval Office!
Doesn’t our family plastic surgeon do a bang-up job on my Mommy Hillary’s face as well as my Daddy Bill’s face and he is doing even a little work on my semi-pretty face, as you can plainly see!
My Mom Hillary Clinton was born way back when: 10/26/47! Please don’t anybody remind the adoring MSM how very old Hillary is getting!
Dear Blogger John Walsh,
When I was younger, my mom always made my birthdays special with lots of cheap fun! One year my Dad Bill even invited Aunt Monica Lewinsky to my party. I still remember the beautiful blue dress she was wearing…with that big stain on it!
This pre-election year I want to help do something extra special for My Mommy by convincing you to give some really big bucks to my millionaire parents’ sure thing bid to take over the White House once again!
So that I can be a member of The First Family one more time! WHEEEEE!
I know that My Mommy Hillary doesn’t care a lot about you, Mr. Walsh, because she doesn’t even know you exist outside of a name on her low-level potential donors list!
My Mom Hillary has worked so darn hard to better herself political power-wise, it would mean a lot to Little Ole Me if you give her lots and lots of greenbacks out of that big, fat wallet of yours to celebrate her 68th special birthday: Monday, Oct.26!
Will you pretty please help out Hillary’s only child ( I don’t know how many kids my Daddy Bill has and neither does he!) by signing this contributors-exclusive birthday card for my mom’s SIXTY-EIGHTH birthday? We plan currently to be kind of vague about her actual age in MSM and political blogosphere and these Hillary idolaters have promised to cooperate fully!
She doesn’t look 68, right! Much thanks to our own super-duper Plastic surgeon, Dr. XXXXXX!
P.S. Your name will be immediately blotted out of Hillary Clinton’s 68th birthday card unless you donate at least a measly hundred bucks to her Presidential campaign and that lousily low check of yours doesn’t bounce!
Thank you … for every Clinton Campaign dime that we may have successfully managed to squeeze out of the tightwad asses of our Hillary Clinton Presidential Campaign donors so far!
As for the rest of you, thanks for nothing, you fascist jerks! How much did you give to that senile old fool Bernie Sanders’ Campaign?
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